The soaps are meant to reflect real life, which is why we watch the characters deal with various life issues. But there are certain things we never see them doing.
1) Holding a smartphones
If you’ve ever sat in a pub in the UK (or anywhere else for the matter), then you’ll be aware that most people have smartphones. They will sit on them everywhere, including in the pub. But do you ever see that in The Rovers Return, The Queen Vic, or The Woolpack? No you don’t.
2) Chatting on WhatsApp
Talking of smartphones, most people are in a group chat on WhatsApp these days. But not on the soaps, which is seriously unrealistic.
You’re not telling me that David Platt wouldn’t have a family chat going on with Shona, Sarah, Gail and Nick. The Taylor teenagers would have one too. And how do you think that Linda and Sharon would arrange days out with the kids?
I know you can’t really document WhatsApp in soapland, but the fact that it isn’t ever referenced is glaring.
3) Dating anybody that isn’t a neighbour
The soap characters all get involved with one another. Instead of finding somebody in another street, town, or city, they opt for the character (person) that they’ve been pals with for several years. I know why writers do this, but it is unrealistic.
4) Working anywhere else
In the soaps, hardly anybody works more that five metres away from their home. They all have jobs close by. I know this makes sense for soapy drama, but it’s hardly realistic.
This especially annoys me about Coronation Street. I have lived in Greater Manchester for most of my life and trust me when I say that most people don’t work where they live.
5) Doing stuff at home
We all have chores to do. But we never seem to see our favourite soap stars doing ordinary things at home. They don’t tend to talk about setting a household budget, or what internet provider to go with. The boring stuff is just blanked out.
I know that soap characters occasionally go out to eat. When was the last time you saw Phil Mitchell tucking into a fish and chips for tea? Or Gail Platt making a slow cooker chocolate cake? When did Billy last make a smoothie? It never happens does it? Most of us have to make three meals each day, but not this lot.
Now that I think about it, you rarely see them doing chores either. When was the last time Gail sorted out the clutter at Number 8?
6) Pursuing hobbies
It’s rare that you see a soap character pursue a new hobby. You don’t see Linda Carter trying a new recipe, Moira Dingle growing strawberries, or Dev Alahan researching wild camping sites. Nor do you see Callum Highway looking to book a lodge with a hot tub, so that Ben can accompany him when he goes on a fishing trip. We never see anybody collecting crystals, or practicing mindfulness either.
7) Watching the tele
I’m sorry, but if Jenny Connor in Corrie was real, she’d watch Cold Feet. David Platt would watch Cobra Kai and Gail Platt would tune in to Midsummer Murders. But none of them seem to watch the tele. Ever.
There are plenty of other things that soap characters don’t do, but those are the ones that irritate me the most. What would you add to the list?